Toddy
My God!
Victoria
What's wrong?
Toddy
Victoria, I've just had the most incredible idea!
Victoria
Oh!
Toddy
You said you wanted to be a man...
Victoria
No, no, no...I said there were times when I felt
like being one...
Toddy
Well, here's your chance... What an inspiration!
You're world's greatest female impersonator!
Victoria
Who?
Toddy
You!
Victoria
Me?
Toddy
You'll be a star
You'll be bigger than Garbo and Dietrich by far. Trust me!
Victoria
Oh, come on!
Toddy
Yeah, if fate is kind, you could be Mistinguette
and Chevalier combined.
Trust me!
Victoria
Ah, ah, ah,ah...Sure?
Toddy
The trick for a drag-queen
Is trying to act like a woman, which very few can.
But the fact is, a drag-queen's a man!
Victoria
So, what are you saying?
toddy
You're...not a man;
Victoria
How you noticed?
Toddy
You're a woman they'll think is a man; what a plan!
Victoria
Toddy!
Toddy
Trust me!
Victoria
Toddy, this is crazy!
Toddy
Now, being a girl...
Victoria
Hum...
Toddy
They all think is a man sets their minds in a whirl.
Victoria
Mine too!
Toddy
Trust me! Trust me!
All you have to do for the dream to come true
Is go out there and be what you are,
And we'll make you a world famous star!
Victoria
Ho, ho, ho...You're delirious!
Toddy
Lower your voice!
Victoria
Toddy!
Toddy
Lower!
Victoria
Toddy!
Toddy
Caruso, not Chayat!
Victoria
Toddy, if you don't get back into bed, I'll tell...
Toddy
God, when you get angry it drops naturally!
Look, you don't have to do anything new;
Simply do what you do when you're you,
Victoria
I don't do that!
Toddy
And the audience won't have a clue! It's true!
So for your plan...
Victoria
My plan?
Toddy
To succeed, and it can, they must think you're a man.
Trust me! Trust me!
If you're a man,
Victoria
Which I'm not!
Toddy
You'll be the greatest star since show bus'ness began.
Trust me!
Victoria
You're one!
Toddy
Trust me!
Victoria
No..ah,ah,ah!
Toddy
The beauty of this is, like all great ideas,
It's as simple as simple can be!
Victoria
It's simpler than what?
Toddy
And we'll have each other to thank
Victoria
For what?
Toddy
For the penthouse at the George Cinq
Victoria
Oh, that?
Toddy
It's a free ride to the bank,
Victoria
The left bank!
Toddy
But if you trust me...
Victoria
Should I?
Toddy
Trust me!
Victoria
Could I?
Toddy
Trust me!
Victoria, it'll work!
Victoria
Toddy, it will not!
Toddy
People believe what they see, and tomorrow afternoon
André Cassel is going to meet Europe's greatest female
impersonator...
Victoria
But André Casell is the biggest agent in Paris. If I'm the greatest,
how come he's never heard of me?
Toddy
You're the greatest, but you're unknown outside Poland!
Victoria
Poland?
Toddy
You're Count Victor Grazinsky, a Polish aristocrat.
Your family disinherited you when they discovered you are gay.
We met in Warsaw and fell in love and I brought you to Paris!
Victoria
Oh, this is all very clear now...This cannot fail
Toddy
I agree!
Victoria
To get both of us dumped in some grim Paris jail,
Toddy, trust me!
Toddy
But...
Victoria
Trust me!
Victoria Grant's got a much better chance singing Tosca
in Clacton On Sea!
Toddy
My proposal is not that bizarre;
Victoria
Yes, it is!
Toddy
At Casell's you'll become a huge star.
Victoria
Toddy!
Toddy
It's about when they think that you are!
Victoria
Now, hold it!
Toddy
What's wrong?
Victoria
What's wrong? What's right?
A woman impersonating a man impersonating a woman?
Toddy
Darling, to convince an audience that an illusion is real,
the magician creates a plausible diversion, Count Grazinsky
is our plausible diversion!
Victoria
No audience is that gullible!
I mean, they'll know he's a phony!
Toddy
Exactly!
Victoria
What?
Toddy
They'll know HE'S a phony...
Trust me! |